Where I've been- January

Maybe I've still been battling post-trip blues, but I haven't felt much like writing. Oh, tons of thoughts, ideas and plans swirl around my mind, oftentimes distracting me from the tasks at hand. Maybe I think now that my big adventure is behind me, it all pales in comparison- which isn't true at all. It's all wonderful and fulfilling, bringing small bursts of joy into my heart- it's just that's it all different in its own way.

Maybe it's also that I'm trying to navigate a new phase in my life; one where I wonder if I can move forward when still laden with heartache and disappointment. Not only navigate through, but more importantly, accept what has been and put it into another pocket- stop dwelling and trying to change something that happened a really long time ago now. It's a hell of a thing to realize that you can't control everything, despite every effort you might make to do so. I have control issues; took me awhile to realize it, but I do. To really experience peace, you have to set yourself free from the past, and forgive both yourself and the one who hurt you. You have to let the universe provide for you, and let people do as they do, and know that no matter how good you are, you can't control other people's actions. A hard, irritating little pill to swallow sometimes! It's all much easier said than done, on more days than not. But I try. I'm trying, every day. And if there's a way to move forward, in a positive way that takes all of that past good and incorporates all of the lessons learned along the way to make for a deeper love? Well, that's something worth trying for. And however it turns out, I have peace in my heart knowing that I gave it my best and I stayed true to who I am.

Mid January brought a few inches of snow to the city, basically shutting it down for regular business. Crazy folk sledding down the city street hills.. I spent most of the snow days battling a killer bout of food poisoning. It's time like that when it's a little scary to live alone.

Late January, there was a four day weekend getaway to Austin- my first trip to Texas. I went expecting bbq, cowboys and honky tonk. I got piles of warm sunshine to jump start my system, the friendliest people you might ever meet, and a fabulous deck for hours of sipping margaritas and people watching. Some good food was had, the local Saturday market visited and exploration of S. Congress and all of it's funky glory done. A nice taster for visiting Texas, and would definitely go back for another long weekend.