brutal.

We have only 3 weekends remaining before the St Helen's hike, and that means only 3 more training hikes. So, it kind of goes without saying that these last 3 are going to be tougher than those before, as we're going longer and harder for training. This past weekend was no exception. I'd go out on a limb and call it extreme hiking, and also say that I don't need to do again anytime soon- possibly ever.

Full disclosure: I picked this hike; it was all my idea. I had heard about it from a friend, and I was expecting it to be similar to Mt. Si: about 4 miles, and roughly 4,000 ft of elevation gain. The first 2 miles of the hike was just lovely- slow grade, talus fields, and foxglove blooming everywhere. Once you traverse the slippery rocks along the falls to continue on the trail, which had me terrified of falling on the rocks,  you enter new territory. The rest of the trail, about 2 more miles and somewhere between 2-3,000 elevation gain, is brutal. There wasn't a real trail to speak of. It was pouring rain, and you're climbing at a steep grade- all of these things combined meant for a very strenuous, very stressful and very muddy hike. Once we reached about 4500 ft, we hit a snow bank. With adrenaline working in overdrive, I was able to hike up the first snow bank and then I was done. The next rock scramble was too narrow, too slippery and I just couldn't- and didn't want to- go any further.

This is the 'trail'- and me coming down.

Needless to say, there wasn't any break at the top; no time for resting and eating our lunch. It was miserable- a fact that Thomas was kind enough to point out first. So we headed back down. Carefully and dreadfully slowly. The rain continued, and we kept slipping and falling in the mud- it was that steep and treacherous.

We finally made it down to the waterfall, and somewhat safer terrain. At this point, we'd been hiking for 6 hours with little rest and no real food to keep our reserves up. We briefly ate and finished the hike down. I was done, beyond done. I think the adrenaline kept any pain away, but once we inched ourselves closer to the car, they came. My feet were aching terribly, knees throbbing, and booty hurt from one nasty mud fall.

It was the first hike where we didn't reach our goal, the summit. We figured out later that we were a mere tenth of a mile away, but there was NO way I was going any further- it seemed too dangerous. I just don't need to get to the top that badly.


So, 2 more weekend training hikes remain. I'm feeling a variety of things: strong that I was able to go as much as I did last weekend, but defeated that I was so wrecked afterwards. I have to work just as hard on conquering my internal fears as my external strength in these next few weeks.