Taking my time

There is something therapeutic to me about canning (and ironing- but that's a whole different story. what can I say? I'm a little weird). To slow down, make an afternoon out of preserving something at its peak of freshness to savor later. This weekend, I wanted to make a marmalade. I bought some delicious citrus (all from California, we don't grow any citrus in Washington, unfortunately)- cara cara oranges, which have this deep salmon color; more pronounced than a navel orange, but not as deep in color as a blood orange. and meyer lemons; a lemon that has a subtle flavor of a madarine orange; they're my favorite.

Canning takes some planning, and an afternoon. Because although the actual act of canning in a water bath doesn't take that long, it's the cooking of your fruit to the perfect jelled consistency that takes time. And patience. This is something that you can rush through, like a quick chore to check off the list. If you're canning, you're committing to something. I like the idea of slowing down for an afternoon.

I blended a few recipes from here and here; I wanted a slightly savory marmalade. I recently had a citrus marmalade served alongside pork rillettes. Heaven. I never would have thought to pair the two together; it inspired me. Isn't that what a good meal is supposed to do, inspire you? I have been getting my groove back, little by little. And while there are certainly times when I'm cursing at the limited counter space, or that I have to wash dishes again, or that the stove hasn't miraculously changed to gas overnight- I'm cooking more and it's good. I feel good about the fact that I am still in this body, and slowing emerging, like a bear at the end of winter. It's comforting to me to know, to really know, that all of those passions and hobbies that I so fiercely enjoyed are real- they are a real part of me; they remain, even after other pieces of me have left. There's comfort in this, and comfort in feeding myself, in more ways than just good food. The things you discover about yourself when you least expect it..